Top 10 Sideburns of All Time

A few weeks ago I made the decision to shave my chin and go back to the friendly mutton chops. As patently unattractive as they may be, I personally like them. Additionally, this time I didn't trim the hair down shorter, as I have in the past, so they have a couple inches of length (which leaves them nice and bushy).

In the course of thinking about what I'd like to do with my big ol' sideburns, I've found myself looking at pictures online. Additionally I've already followed competitive bearding for several years, I recently watched the two completed seasons of Whisker Wars, this blog is still at least partially related to facial hair, and I haven't done a top 10 list in a while. Thus, a perfect storm has lead to the creation of this, my list of the 10 greatest sets of sideburns ever donned by man. I judged based partly on fame/recognizability/influence, partly on size, and partly on pure awesomeness.

Without further ado, since we've had plenty of that already, here's the list:

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#10. Joe Namath

Mr. Namath's sideburns may not be as huge and crazy as many of the others on this list, but they earn their place here by being arguably the most iconic in sports history. Namath sitting on the sidelines in Super Bowl III with his bushy burns resting above the collar of a lush fur coat has become one of football's most famous images.

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#9. John Lennon

Lennon was not famous for his sideburns, but for much of his music career he sported quite an impressive pair. When one of the music world's best known faces is framed by such impressive sideburns, it's easy to see why they belong on this list.

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#8. Eric Harvey Brown

I'm guessing most of you don't know who this is. Well he was, at least for a time, one of the major photographers in the beard competition world. So, while his sideburns are impressive enough to speak for themselves (I mean, how can those monsters NOT make the list?) he has actually spent more time capturing the awesome beardliness of others.

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#7. Lemmy Kilmister

Lemmy wins the title for the most metal sideburns in history. They're just as ragged, manly, and downright awesome as everything else about him. Additionally, Lemmy has stuck to his guns and sported this style for so long that it's pretty much impossible to imagine the Motörhead frontman without them.

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#6. Jürgen Burkhardt

If bigger is better, than Germany's Jürgen Burkhardt belongs at the very top of this list. His insanely long sideburns earned him top honors in the category at the 2007 World Beard and Moustache Championships. Just look at those things.

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#5. Hugh Jackman (as Wolverine)

While he doesn't always sport the impressive chops, as Wolverine Jackman has become the king of pop culture sideburns in the new millennium. They look fierce, they're instantly recognized by anybody who has owned a television this decade, and for those reasons they belong in the top 5.

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#4. Toot Joslin

Another competitive bearder, Toot is the winner out of that crowd because of his styling. It is both appealing and functional, keeping his extremely long whiskers nicely contained (their actual length is similar to Brown's in his picture). He's also the reigning national champion in the sideburns category, and has won many other titles including world champion.

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#3. Elvis Presley

Probably the most famous sideburns in history belonged to the King. Elvis Presley sported jet black spears that are to this day the most imitated sideburns in the world. They weren't as big or impressive as most of these other entries, but in terms of influence they take top honors.

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#2. Martin Van Buren

Once upon a time, US presidents donned facial hair with stunning regularity. In terms of sideburns, none ever did so with such striking commitment and intensity as Van Buren. The eighth president, who is reputed to have presided over cabinet meetings while carrying a pair of pistols, was clearly a man who played by his own rules. His own wild, bushy rules.

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#1. Ambrose Burnside

A famous Union general in the American Civil War, Burnside really has to have the greatest sideburns in history. I mean, the facial hair style is, by most accounts, named after him. How can you top that as a credential? Besides, he really did sport an impressive set of chops throughout his adult life. After all, you don't become the name source of a whole new type of beard style unless you rock it like a pro.

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Those, ladies and gentlemen, are my picks as the top 10 sideburns in history.